17: Special needs

“We’re going to have a child with special needs joining our group soon: I want to be welcoming and get things ‘right’ but I don’t know where to start and I’m worried about causing offence by mistake. Can you help me?”

Log on to "Through the roof" via the link on the right for up to date advice, training and information on disability provision and legislation.

Look out for Am I Beautiful or what? SU’s resource for ministry among adults with learning disabilities.

Here’s some advice from three practitioners - Mandy Allen (teacher in a school for children with physical and learning disabilities), Debbie Fletcher (whose teenage son has Down’s Syndrome) and Glynis White (a special needs hlper in a state primary school):

Information about Makaton signing, as mentioned in the article, can be obtained using the link on the right or from: Makaton Vocabulary Development Project 31 Firwood Drive, Camberley, Surrey, GU1 5 3QD Tel: 01276 61390 Fax: 01276 681368

Jump up if you're wearing red (Church House Publishing) has some songs with Makaton signs.

Glynis writes: 'The most difficult child in my twenty years of working with children and young people in churches was six year old Daniel. He was adopted by a Christian family, was in a wheelchair permanently, couldn't speak, and had a big misshapen head. To his adoptive parents he was precious, and through them I learnt that Daniel's difficulties were not insurmountable. The rest of the children were wonderful with him; they helped to push his wheelchair gently and chatted away to him. Daniel proved to be the best listener! The children cared when Daniel was poorly and he became a valuable member of the group. Daniel's Mum would caress his big head and wipe his mouth in such a gentle matter of fact way that we all forgot his disfigurement. To my amazement and delight the children were not frightened of him.

I learnt to:

• see Jesus' love for a difficult child
• seek support through his parents
• seek extra help (in this case it was from teenagers in the congregation, but it may have been from an expert such as a doctor or professional carer)
• get alongside Daniel through touch, eye contact and sense of smell
• think about being wheelchair-friendly
• understand that children are very accepting and learn with you to care.'
• Identifying ‘difficult’ children.

In this article we are thinking particularly of the child whose problems fall within the categories of

• physical disability
• severe learning disability/mental handicap
• emotional and behavioural disorders
• language and communication difficulties.

However, most of the time our 'difficult' children have problems that are less dramatic. They may be lonely, shy, aggressive, lack self esteem, be overactive or sad, and often some or all of these, temporarily, due to circumstances. We hope that this article will be of help to all leaders. After all, we want to welcome every child into our churches, regardless of specific needs. It can be daunting to be presented with a child who appears to have insurmountable problems.

You may be asking yourself these questions:

• How do we make this child feel welcome and accepted by the rest of y the group?
• How do we adapt our learning experience and ensure our teaching materials are helpful?
• How do we help this child develop concepts of a spiritual life when they are maybe experiencing a mixture of physical, learning or emotional problems which seem insurmountable in themselves?
• How do we cope if this child looks like disrupting the rest of the group?

Establish as much background information as possible from the child's parents/carers in order to have a ‘snapshot’ view of the child's difficulties and any little tips on how to settle them into the group, eg What will they need help with? and importantly What can she do on her own? What can they not eat or drink? Does he have a favourite toy, book or TV programme to talk about or show? Remember that personal information is better handed over in confidence out of the child's hearing to help maintain his dignity. If you are nervous, it is a good idea to visit the child in his own environment and learn from the family.

When introducing the child into the group make positive, enthusiastic comments. 'This is Sarah, everybody. Sarah is blind and so we must give her things to touch and feel about the story while we are listening to it. Would anyone like to sit with Sarah and tell her about themselves? Sarah is five and goes to Rainbows.'

Remember children need to ask questions when confronted with a situation they are not used to. Their questions may sound rude or insensitive to us, but they are not meant to and should be answered honestly and simply #150 'Ben can't talk very well, but he is very good at sums.'

Scripture Union materials can be adapted to meet the needs of individual children. For example, pictures can be enlarged, coloured especially brightly, or simplified. Look carefully at the options in your Tiddlywinks books to see what will best help special needs children to understand the story and activities. Try not to choose activities where they will have to watch from the sidelines. Let them hold up visual aids. If they are unable to use their hands much, how about writing or sticking labels on hats to wear one week?

When choosing songs, those with actions which don't rely on the child's ability to read and which help with remembering the words or the meaning are very valuable. Sometimes the Makaton Sign Language, which many children with speech and communication problems will be familiar with, can be used to enhance both well-known and new songs. The use of simple percussion instruments, which can be made by the children themselves, means that everyone can join in. Of course this applies to most children in pre-school groups, not only those with learning disabilities.

Makaton signs and symbols can also be used in story telling, and will help you focus on the main elements of the story, eliminating confusion and helping with clarity. It's a good idea to tell the story more than once, and involve the children as much as possible, perhaps by waving or clapping when a particular person is mentioned, or by holding 'objects of reference' such as a pottery jar, a fishing net or a packet of seeds.

All children will benefit when we as leaders are careful that the words we use are easily understood. Encourage them to ask questions if they don't understand, and explain or illustrate anything that you think they might find difficult to grasp. (What is a temple ...? wisdom...? faith? What do we mean when we say 'bless you', and do our children really know what we are doing when we pray?) You can be sure that if one child doesn't understand, others won't also. Don't be rigid about the children being able to pronounce the names of some of the Bible characters. It is the message which is important, so abbreviate the names if that will help! A mother once asked: ‘Who is Fat? James told me all about him.’ Well done, James, for remembering all about Jehoshaphat, even if you couldn't pronounce his name!

Emotional and behavioural difficulties are probably the most demanding because of the unpredictability of the children. If possible, invite a parent or someone the child knows well to remain with the group for the first few sessions. This will enable the leader to pick up tips on handling the child.

Try to recruit a special helper from the church family who can become the particular child's one-to-one support, not necessarily close all the time, but on hand when needed. A ‘floating helper' is always useful for when the unexpected happens, so that the leader can maintain overall leadership and control of the group as a whole, without having to spend too much time with one child exclusively.

Make it clear to all the children in the group that there are rules that have to be adhered to when we are at the group, in just the same way as in other places, eg school, in the street. Engage the children's help when deciding on the rules. If they understand why you have them, they are more likely to keep them. Make an attractive notice displaying them and remind the children of them firmly, briefly, quietly, and as often as necessary. Such 'rules' could be that they are not allowed to leave the room without a parent or responsible adult they know, no-one is allowed to climb on the piano, we sit quietly and still at prayer time, and so on. Try to make sure the rules are few in number and as simple as possible.

Some children may need to be introduced to the group gradually, perhaps just for the Bible story or singing time to begin with. Children enjoy routine, and so emphasise 'this is the time when we sit down', 'now we can jiggle about' etc. Make sure the children know that they can all have a turn to speak: 'Let's hear what Jane has to say about her new shoes, and you can show us your toy next.' With young children a puppet can be useful: 'My puppet says she would like John to sit down so that she can see Shelley at the back.'

If you have a child who tends to be disruptive, set a time limit for settling down. Then if necessary use your one-to-one helper to take the child out, perhaps to get a drink or to help prepare squash for everyone later on. Another alternative might be to take the child for a walk. As you do so, be positive – use the time to admire God's handiwork, collect leaves, see how many different kinds of flowers you can find.

Don't forget that some children settle better if they bring along their own security blanket'. This may be a soft toy (how about making it an honorary member of the group?) or even mum or a big brother or sister!

There are many positive aspects of accepting a 'difficult' child into your group:

• Many parents are going through the trauma of coming to terms with their child's difficulties which may be major/long term and be very demanding on their time, energy and emotions. Providing a welcoming and caring environment, when perhaps there are few opportunities to socialise outside the home, school and medical settings, can be a lifeline. Meeting 'humans' for an ‘ordinary' occasion could be a real treat.
• Take delight in the fact that yours does not have to be a setting where achievement and competitiveness are paramount. Children with problems in formal education, where they are expected to perform or shine, have sometimes settled better into less pressured groups because of the more informal social angle and smaller family group setting. Sometimes improvements at school follow this input.
• Teamwork is very important when running a Christian group. One leader may feel unable to cope with a particular child. Do not have a sense of failure if, you do not feel competent to deal with a situation. Leaders together should support each other, so that each can give of their best. You may also discover that having to ask for help among members of the wider church family mi reveal hidden talents!
• The shared experience of helping a difficult child to be a part of their group is likely to make each of the children more caring and sensitive to the needs of others. Don't forget that the greatest spiritual input for the children (any of them) will be just from being in a genuinely loving, caring atmosphere. Enjoy your time together and see your children grow!

Jesus said: 'When you welcome one of these children because of me, you welcome me.' Matthew 18:5