11: Games and competitiveness

"An alternative to… competition"

Peter Graystone offers these thoughts as a discussion starter for an occasion when all who work with children meet together. In this way those who lead 3 and 4-year-olds, for whom competition is as yet a meaningless concept, can share their perspective alongside the leaders of 12 and 13-year-olds, by which time the pressure to achieve and out-perform others is often deeply ingrained. Can a church strategy emerge?

One of Scripture Union's evangelists tells a story of a church she visited where a quiz was taking place for five-year-olds. The children's leader asked, 'Now, what am I thinking of? It's grey, it nibbles nuts, and it's got a big fluffy tall.' There was an embarrassed silence before one child hesitantly held up a hand: 'Well, I know the answer must be Jesus ... but it sounds awfully like a squirrel to me.'

Charming though the story is, it is a pertinent reminder that we need to ask ourselves why we use quizzes with children and what impact they have on them. Competition presented thoughtlessly can hurt! It is always right to ask whether a quiz is fair, particularly for children who are at an age when their sense of justice is particularly acute. Is the quiz fair to children who have little background knowledge of Scripture because they do not happen to have parents who are particularly interested in the Bible? is it fair to children with academic difficulties, who may feel a sense of failure in the very context where we want them to feel accepted no matter who they are? A quiz which is just a glory ride for bright kids is doing no one any good. And to try to force three and four-year-olds to be competitive before they fully understand what it means to, score points and win or lose may do more damage than good.

For older children, there is some value in quizzes which remind them in an engaging way of facts that they need to know. To improve the success of the quiz, choose one which can involve all the children all the time (such as a 'true or false?' quiz where everyone gets to vote), keep a score with a random element in it (by throwing a dice, for instance), don't cumulate scores from week to week but give everyone an equal chance each time, include some non-biblical questions so as not to disadvantage those from non-Christian homes, never fiddle the score, keep it short, and keep it fun!

There is also reason to be concerned about groups which hold competitions that pit girls against boys. Since one of the precious truths of our standing in God is that he values all equally, male and female alike, it would undermine our teaching if girls were consistently egged on to prove themselves better than boys and vice versa. And just imagine what children are subconsciously learning about the nature of worship if a hymn is introduced: 'Let's see who can sing best – the boys or the girls'!

Some go further and claim that any kind of competitive game is likely to counteract the gospel principle that we do not have to be better or stronger or more religious than anyone else in order to be accepted by God. They suggest instead cooperative games in which a challenge is set and children work together to fulfil the objective successfully. This is a much more realistic model of what the Christian life is to be like than a constant desire to beat the other team down.

An example of a cooperative game is the very enjoyable one in which children stand in a huddle and reach across the group to take a hand in each hand. By working together, twisting over and winding underneath each other, they untangle themselves into one unbroken circle. Success generates great satisfaction and everyone ends up feeling good about themselves. Many other games can be played with a play canopy (a purpose made parachute)! It is quite expensive but is a hugely engaging piece of games equipment and the instruction leaflet that comes with it lists games that can be played by a large number of children or adults throwing it, running beneath it, rolling a ball round it, hiding under it and so endlessly on!

As one who has consistently been defeated at tennis by my godson since he was barely as tall as the net, I would be sorry to see competition disappear completely from a child's experience. But I have a deep sympathy for the child who, from Monday to Friday, feels a failure again and again when he or she is the last to be picked for teams at school, comes bottom in spelling tests, and feels humiliated on Sports Day when losing is a very public affair. Wouldn't it be good if children like that could look on church as the one place they can go in confidence that they will never be made to feel inferior? It would be a real lesson about how God views life's priorities in a totally different way from the rest of the world. it is worth considering whether all children's groups can provide an alternative to competition, not just for the sake of what it does to the losers, but for the sake of what it does to the winners!

Parachute canopies can be obtained from Bee-Tee Products Ltd, Cemetery Lane, CarIton, Wakefield, West Yorkshire WF3 3QT, England.

Everyone’s a winner, by children’s evangelist Ruth Wills, a book of cooperative games mainly for children over 8.

Over 300 games for all occasions, by Patrick Goodland, includes sections on games for younger children.

Every Tiddlywinks: Big Book has a section called ‘Game time’.

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